Obviously when you lose someone you love, it hurts! Hurt feelings can take a long time to heal. You don't know what to do, where to turn and you are feeling desperate, sad and lonely. You need to calm down and think about your next step. If you want to win back her heart, there are steps to take that do work. It all depends on you as you are the one that has to change to have a go at getting your girlfriend back.

Some of the things you need to do are going to be extremely difficult. Probably your first inclination is to call her and try to be with her. In my opinion that will only serve to push her further away. Give her some time to think and some room to breathe. Even if you suspect there is another guy, all is not lost. Patience is the key to success here. Do not contact her by calling, emailing or texting. Do not shadow her every movement. Do not try to find out what she is doing through friends. Sometimes absence really does make the heart grow fonder. This is very hard to do since all you want to do is be with the person you love. Trust me, been there, done that with boyfriends too. You may be pleasantly surprised and get a call from her.
Can You Win Back Her Heart?

If she calls, you can start the ball rolling. If she hasn't called, let at least one week pass before you even think to contact her. When you do, don't push her to meet with you or take you back. Play it cool. You can tell her you have been thinking a lot about your relationship and trying to make changes in yourself. Of course you really do need to make these changes. In so doing, if she sees those changes, she will be more likely to work on herself. Have you ever been in a situation where there was a disagreement between you and a friend or family member? If that person apologizes to you, aren't you most likely to accept that and even apologize back? It is the same with changing the disagreeable things about yourself. If she sees a change in you, she may want to work on her issues too. Don't be fake on this just to get her back. It will never work in the long run if you are just changing to win back her heart.

After a few conversations, she may be agreeable to meet. Take it slow and don't expect that this is a date. You can meet for coffee or ice cream. Take this as a positive sign towards a reconciliation - but definitely not a date. It probably took a long time for your relationship to deteriorate so don't expect an overnight magic of making up to occur. Talk about fun stuff and actually have fun and laugh remembering the good times you shared. Try to spark an interest in what brought you together in the first place. If she always liked your laugh, then laugh often. If she liked your jokes, tell some good ones. If she liked a certain shirt that perhaps she even purchased for you, wear that shirt. There are many little touching things you can do to show her you care. Above all, be patient. It may take several of these meetings before she is ready to try again with you. You will need to become her friend for isn't that the solid foundation that all couples must share to stay together? Be that solid foundation and offer much support. Women are ruled by their feelings and emotions. You must genuinely care about her feelings and in turn she must be willing to care about yours.

At some point, both of you should be able to address the mistakes that were made so you do not repeat the past. This can be hard because it dredges up old hurts. Be extremely careful not to be defensive or judgmental. The past is the past and you both really will need to get over it to move on. Letting go can be difficult and if you both cannot do this, then you may never walk down the road to reconciliation.

Lastly, make sure the chemistry is still there by being physically appealing. Maybe you will need to exercise to tone up or lose a little weight. Grooming is important. For me, there is no greater turnoff than an unclean person. Appearances do matter.


08/11/2010 17:47

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

08/20/2010 23:16

if you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.

10/15/2010 08:52

Good advice. Remembering the good times when you meet rather than going over the bad is always a winner. Doesnt matter whether you are married or not, a broken heart is a broken heart.


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